Taking a Cue From Mary

I was reading a passage from Luke today - the part where the angel comes to Mary to announce the birth of Christ, and I was struck by a concept that had never really come to me before. At least, not so clearly.

I was thinking about Mary. She was a simple Jewish girl, right? And it hit me today - I bet she knew it. I doubt she had any grand illusions of being anything but a simple Jewish girl. I imagine she viewed herself as pretty ordinary - which struck me in a new way today, because obviously, she's become quite famous for her extraordinariness. And as I was thinking about that, I was thinking how I bet Mary never sat down and strategized on how to live a life of greater meaning. I doubt she saw her life as this great gift to the world that she needed to make sure she made count for all it was worth. You know, the way that we do nowadays. Or maybe I shouldn't generalize you into my umbrella, but at least, I'll admit, the way I do.

There seems to be this little voice in my head that's always whispering, "You're special. You're going to do great things for God with your life... Yes, of course, everyone's special. That's true. But you're extra special, Meagan. You have a calling that has uncommon depth and magnitude of influence. You're supposed to impact a lot of people. You need to be maximizing your potential, you need to start leveraging your gifts and talents... Etc., etc. "

(Yes, the voice in my head uses words like "leverage.") And so you can see, it would seem I have a bit of a complex about my own importance.

I've never asked anyone, so I don't know if this is an issue unique to me, but I kind of imagine that it's not. I have a suspicion that in our modern day and age, with all the commercial propaganda bombarding us at every turn with the idea that "You're worth it," and "You deserve it," and YOU YOU YOU are the king of your world... well, it seems like it might be kind of easy for us to start thinking of ourselves as more important than we are. And perhaps that notion can even slip into our ideas about God's purposes for us.

I'm not saying we should walk around wearing sackcloth, staring at the ground and flogging ourselves. Of course not. We are special. We, out of all creation, are the only thing made in God's image. We were made in the very image of God! So, on one level, we are indeed very "godlike". And that is something to be celebrated.

But what I'm saying is, I think we're in danger of taking ourselves a little too seriously. Maybe that sounds funny to say, but here's what I mean. I know that for me - though most of the time it's with the best of intentions - I start thinking of my life as this really important thing that I need to make sure I use wisely and make every moment count for eternity and be proactive about positioning myself in the places where I can do the most good in the world and "Don't waste your life. Don't waste your life. Don't waste your life." starts pounding in my head 'til I'm nearly sick with it, and... I just don't think that's the point. In fact, I'm beginning to suspect that that sort of thinking clearly misses the point.

I hope I'm making sense. It's not that our lives are not valuable to God. They very much are. It's just, I was thinking about Mary. And I was thinking how she probably wasn't preoccupied with making her life count. She probably didn't expect her life to make it into the history books for its place in furthering God's divine plan. She probably didn't lose sleep over what her life's calling might be. Today, we live in an age of individualism, so it's become very important to us to discover the purposes God has for our individual lives. Which is good. I believe God very much wants to connect with each of us on an individual, personal level, and that he has a specific story for each of us to tell within His greater Story of the world. But I also know that in Mary's day, within Jewish culture, the individual was not considered so important. Judaism is much more communal in its approach to God. So I can't know for sure, of course, but I get the impression that Mary wasn't overly concerned about her individual life. I imagine she was a simple Jewish girl, content to live an ordinary, day-to-day Jewish life. Furthermore - and here's the kicker for me - I bet what Mary was mainly concerned about was not her own life's story, but rather, living her life in obedience to her God. Simple as that.

Simple obedience. And according to Gabriel's salutation to her, that was enough to give her favor with God.

So, to wrap things up, I guess all I'm saying is that I was convicted today about not thinking of myself more highly than I ought. God does want to use me for great things, I'm convinced - and that's exciting beyond comprehension, but he doesn't need me. So I can stop stressing myself out about carpe-ing the diem. And I can start simply living. Obeying. And trusting that in that obedience to Him, my life will take on all the meaning and calling and purpose it was ever intended.

Trust and obey.

Trust and obey.

I seem to keep finding there's no other way.