Entry #1

Today is a monumental day. Today I became a blogger. I've been putting people off for about a year now when they've asked me about starting a blog. I wondered, what would I say? I'm not that witty. Honestly, I'm still not sure what I'm going to say, but I'm okay with that now because my reasons for blogging have changed. I'm not writing to entertain any phantom reading public. I'm writing for me now.
At the church I attend, Renovatus (Latin for "renovation"), Pastor Jonathan Martin recently did a sermon series based out of Exodus, when God's people were wandering in the desert, waiting to enter the Promised Land that flowed with milk and honey, and how that idea of being "in the wilderness" and the lessons the Israelites learned there can be applied to our own lives today. The idea, of course, being that there is a correlation between the physical wilderness that the Israelites walked and the less tangible wildernesses that we face - a job loss, a miscarriage, the death of a spouse, unrequited love, general uncertainty about the future, what have you. These are temporary seasons in our lives of greater intensity in suffering.

There is the idea, too, however, that all of our lives on this earth, from birth to death, could be considered a journey through the wilderness, with Heaven as our awaited Promised Land. (I'm not trying to be morbid. Stay with me. I'm about to make a momentary detour into Revelation, but hang tight. I have an eventual point.)

The small group of amazing women that I lead (I love these girls so much; here's a picture of us at my wedding...)

Anyway, a few months ago, we studied through the book of Revelation. To be honest, I wasn't really looking forward to it at the beginning - all that doom and gloom and symbolism, but as it turns out, Revelation is, above all, a book of hope! Who knew? It shows that no matter what happens on earth, God is still in control. It promises that evil will not last forever (the wilderness is not unending), and it depicts the wonderful reward that's waiting for all who know Jesus. Right now, just as Paul describes in Romans, we live in a time of expectancy, of a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout our world are simply birth pangs - the birth of a new earth. We yearn for that full deliverance, that restoration. And in rare moments, we catch glimpses of it. It happens a lot in nature for me... an intensely vibrant sunset over the ocean, the smell of rain through the trees in the mountains... Or when I find myself in moments of deep conversation with a friend - usually over coffee - that go on for hours into the night, and I feel like we've touched upon some higher plain of intimacy. Philosophers would call this the longing for transcendence - the desire to be part of something larger than ourselves, something that is good. I could go on and on about this and all the cool spiritual implications and how behind it all, at the core of creation, is the Trinity, the drumbeat of all things good, which existed before all else as a perfect dance of giving and receiving love, and how it was the nature of this divine love - the desire of the Trinity to share it - that got us created in the first place. And how that's why the deepest part of our heart longs to be bound together in some heroic purpose with others of like mind and spirit. But I won't go into all that. :)

Suffice it to say, those perfect moments of transcendence, those fleeting "God moments" when the world seems right and good and (forgive me for being flowery) your heart could nearly burst from the beauty of them - in those moments, we are feeling the birth pangs. We are getting a preview of the kind of living that awaits us. But for now, we remain in the wilderness of a fallen world.

We're not without hope, though. When Jesus left the earth, He sent us His Spirit, to comfort and guide us on our way. And that brings me full circle to my original point (told ya I had one... if anyone's still reading...)

In Exodus 16: 32-34, God instructs the Israelites that they are to keep a portion of the manna and preserve it in a jar in order that the people for generations to come might remember the faithfulness of God's provision in the wilderness. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason I've decided to blog. In my own way, blogging is how I hope to "keep a measure of the manna". It's how I hope to preserve (through the written word) a record of my own journey and God's faithful provisions for me as I continually explore Him and He tirelessly pursues me.

Enjoy the ride!